No to No New Friends

One of the biggest differences between San Francisco and Boston is the welcoming-ness of the people. I don’t mean to say that Massachusetts is full of a bunch of Massholes … I mean to say that the proximity and closeness of your group of friends doesn’t change as much in Boston as it does in San Francisco.

Hear me out.

In San Francisco, almost everyone is a transplant from somewhere else. Hell, most people who live there aren’t even from California. Because of this, it’s a very transient city – people come and they go all the time. Because of this, San Franciscans welcome new people into their friend circles more than I’ve seen in other city, because they need to. They know that at least half of their friends will move away in the next three to five years, so they’re always making new ones.

Most Bostonians, however, grew up in New England. They might have gone to college here, or went to high school in the area, or a lot of people they knew from another life have continued into this new life. Bostonians are unbelievably loyal to their people, but they’re not as forthcoming when welcoming you in.

The weirdest part though, is most people I have this conversation with in Boston, whole-heartedly agree. If we all feel this way, but all want to be welcomed more fully, and make new friends, then why don’t we change that?

I read a post (#nostalgia) from Carly @ the College Prepster giving advice for freshman dealing with homesickness. While I’m no freshman in collehe, one of her tips really spoke to me:

“Be the friend you want to have.”

I’ve spent a lot of years of my life waiting to get invited to parties, dinners, you name it. But instead of sitting waiting for the invite, I want to be the connector, the person who has something going on, the one who always welcomes others.

Leave a Reply