When I was a kid, I always felt like time went by so fast. You had pre-planned vacation times, semesters, and new teachers and milestones to hit. You thought middle school was a quick three years, only to find high school and then college go by even more quickly.
But as an adult, with fewer points of definitive change, time feels like it’s going by even faster. The fact that it’s been a year since I moved back to Boston is insane to me.
It’s been a big year of things good and bad, with the highs of the best New England sports comeback in history, and the downs of going through a breakup. I went apple picking, hiked in the White Mountains, and had the benefit of driving less than two hours to my childhood home for Thanksgiving and Christmas breaks.
I feel like I live here. I have a gym where the instructor knows my name, and a sandwich spot where they are starting to. Even through the relatively long Boston winter, I just felt better. Even though I don’t always have things to do and am still working on finding more friends and people to travel with, I feel less alone. I know if I have a weekend where I have nothing going on that there are more than a few people who will invite me somewhere, and if not, I can jump in the car to see my parents, or friends in NH or NYC. It just feels like my own center of the universe is more on the east coast.
Over the last year I’ve dealt with a lot of emotions since moving back. As I detailed in my original post about the move, I was worried about feeling like a failure, wondering if the job opportunity would be better, and whether I really was happier in San Francisco than I had thought.
I think one of the best realizations is that it isn’t necessarily always better or worse, but sometimes just different. One of the biggest changes I’ve had to get used to is not working downtown. Instead of taking public transport into work and then meeting friends and new people at Happy Hour, I drive out to the ‘burbs to work and spend more time than I wish in traffic getting back into Somerville. While that commute life is never great, the drive outside of the city gave me a reason to buy a car, which gives me so much more flexibility in general, and helps me focus more on the gym after work than the temptation of drinks and lunches out during the week.
Luckily, I definitely think the sense of adventure I picked up when I moved west has stayed with me. Before I moved to San Francisco, I spent a lot of my weekends doing work or the same old things in Boston, and now I’m more conscious of doing more with my weekends. Even when writing this post, I decided to run some errands downtown and blog and plan some upcoming travel from a coffee shop, rather than work at home.
So overall, the move back has helped me I guess feel more at peace with myself.
Being here just feels more like me.